My Real Imaginary Friend
by ValeurStories
Summary: "I swallowed, already feeling my cheek heating up in pain. If someone says, that a slap doesn't hurt, they haven't been hit hard enough." Kaoru is constantly picked on, until a certain person comes along. Showing him a world that almost seem imaginary.
1. Mr Bless You

**My Real Imaginary Friend**

**Chapter 1.**

**'Mr. Bless-you'**

"Kaoru!"

My book was snatched out of my fingers, and I looked up stunned, but when I saw whom it was I just peered back down with a sigh.

"You fucking retard!" the loud voice howled at me, making me swallow. "Why don't you just learn your place and stay away from us?" my book was slammed back on the table, making me leap slightly. I looked up at the one speaking; he was tall, with a crude expression, dirty-blonde locks hanging messily around his face and pitch-black eyes. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

It had been like this for as long as I could remember. Sometimes I wish I could just hide from all my classes, because I knew no one would notice – or care – not even my teachers. I wasn't exactly an A+ student, nor was I a prime-example in attendance.

"Look at me!" the crude blonde demanded, but I ignored him.

I had though someone cared for me a long time ago. When I was a kid, I had met this one person who had been traveling with his family, Hikaru, was his name. We had looked a lot alike, but when we told our parents that we had found a friend that came across exactly like us, they would simply laugh, thinking we had an _imaginary friend_.

How I missed Hikaru. But he had gone back home, and his family hadn't visited the town since. He had had foster-parents like myself, and I had for the first time had someone I could talk to about it.

"Hey dork! I'm speaking to you!" the guy uttered again, I hadn't bothered remembering his name, but I think it was something with an, 'S'. I sighed deeply and grabbed my book from where he had slammed it on my desk. People often say that I lived in my own little world, but I didn't bother listening to them.

"You have some nerve!" he uttered maliciously. "Aren't you listening?"

"No, I heard you," I said in my most monotone voice and opened the book again. I noticed that a few people had started to crowd behind him – his little gang of protectors; because a guy like me would totally_ rip him apart_ if they weren't there, pfft!

"I have a question for you," he said, changing his tone when he realized that people were watching now. He casually sat on my desk, staring at me with malevolent eyes. "Why in the world would you think you could talk to my girlfriend?"

I leveled my eyes with his. "I didn't. She asked me for help with her assignment, herself."

"But you gave it to her, Kaoru!" he snarled back, grabbing me instantly by the collar. I let out a gasp when I was forced halfway across the table. My book feel limply to the floor and I twisted my lips in a frown. God, he always had such a bad temper. "If you ever as much as speak to my girl again, I'll rip your throat out of your mouth, you freak."

_I would like to see that. _"Fine." I said simply and unleashed his fingers from my collar, correcting my clothes nonchalantly. His lips spread in a smirk, showing off his yellow teeth.

"Good, And by the way," he said, suddenly changing to a darker shade. "I heard a rumor about you." _Oh man, here it comes. What have I done _this_ time; had sex with a teacher? Something about my family? Did my foster-father sleep drunk on the school area again? Or did anyone hear my foster-mother mumble vulgar language in public?_

"You cut yourself on the schools bathroom, don't you?" he asked me with a smirk.

The question took me off guard – that was a new one. I rolled my eyes, but before I could deny it, the teacher walked in. And Mr. Bad Temper gave me a last curious glare before he walked off to his seat.

The teacher began to talk, and I once again let myself drift into my book.

oOo

"I'm home," I murmured quietly as I opened the front door. I mentally prayed for no response and it seemed like the higher powers was merciful today, because the house remained silent.

I lived with my foster parents – who hated me. No, I mean _hated_ me. My foster-father never denied a chance to beat me up, and my foster-mother was just… quiet. She never said a word, just walked around and cleaned our tiny home, mumbling to herself softly. She was almost the worst of them.

I ran upstairs quickly and threw my bag on the floor of my miniature room. A bed, and a drawer for clothes mostly occupied my room … oh, and not to forget the light bulb hanging from the ceiling. So, as you can hear, I didn't have much space to walk around. The only thing that showed signs of teenage life was the many, no, _tons_ of books that I had by the end of my bed – since there were no other room for them.

I sighed and took a minuet to just take the weight off my feet on the bed. I had never had anyone at my house, except that one kid, Hikaru. I missed him a lot. Which was laughable. I had only known him for about a week, but we had just… clicked. It had been like a single person actually bothered. Actually cared.

Like ... one person had stepped into my world.

I opened my drawer from my seat on the bed and dug into the sweaters to retrieve a blank razorblade that I had taken from the bathroom. Stolen, I guess, nothing in the house belonged to me. My father had been furious when it had been gone, almost trashing the house, but I had hid it well.

And _before_ you judge! I had _never_ tried cutting myself. Not yet that is, but I often took the blade out of the drawer and looked at it. Measured the blank blade, noticed the details and felt the metal rest in my hands. People said that pain took pain away. I often wondered-

**'BANG!'**

I flinched in alarm, snapping out of my thoughts, and felt my eyes widened to double size. My father was home. I frantically hid the blade under a few shirts.

"_Boy_? Where the hell are you?" he shouted loudly, he sounded drunk. It usually wouldn't affect the energy of his punches, but it would make him more nasty and malicious.

"Didn't ya hear me?" he yelled, impatiently. It seemed like he had had a rough day and needed someone to take his stress out on – that _someone_ would most often be my rips and I.

And they had just healed so well.

I hurried down the stairs, seeing my mute foster-mother walk by with her very few groceries; with her head timidly bend forward. The Mute Lady. That is what I called her in my head. I had named her when I was very young, and just kept it. I had never said it out loud though.

When I reached the end of the stairs, a sudden hand flung out and connected harshly with my face. I gasped out. My eyes rolling to the back of my head in surprise. I stumbled a few steps back, one hand resting on my cheek, while the metallic taste of blood slowly filled my mouth.

"Didn't you hear me?" my foster-father said coldly. "What were you doing upstairs?"

"H-homework," I lied weakly, straightening up. He waved a hand for me to come closer and I hurried to obey. My foster-mother stood inaudibly in the door, with an expressionless face.

_Slap!_

"How are you doing in school?"

"Fine, I-"

_Slap!_

"That's not an answer."

I swallowed, already feeling my cheek heating up in pain. If someone says, that a slap doesn't hurt, they haven't been hit hard enough. And they definitely hadn't been hit by my foster-father. I had gotten a habit of clenching my teeth together when I was around him, because you never knew when a fist would strike. Clenching your teeth would prevent you from biting your tongue; I had learned that the hard way.

However, I hadn't been prepared for that first slap. But I had only bitten my cheek, and that didn't hurt as much.

"I need a drink," the already drunken man said to himself and rubbed his face with a hand. "Get me a drink!" he shouted toward my foster-mother, who nodded rapidly before disappearing into the kitchen.

I stood frozen on the stair, not knowing if I was allowed to leave yet.

"Run off," he demanded after a while, and I gratefully headed for the door, flinging the door open and running outside. If I was in the house for long he would soon want to hit me some more, so it was better to get away from here as fast as possible. Grabbing my gray scarf on the way out, to prevent questions about my bruised cheek.

The library was probably still open.

oOo

"Hello Kaoru, aren't you the wet one," the librarian greeted cheerfully when I entered. I exhaled a breath of relief and gave her a quick nod and smile in return. I was soaked to the bone from the weather outside - not even having time to get a jacket on as I had bailed. But that didn't matter, because I was _home_.

The smell of new books, the warmth from the heater, the people sitting calmly around. This was my favorite place to be. If I was just quiet enough I could go unnoticed for hours.

"How are you dear?" the elderly librarian asked me.

"Good," I lied and tugged my gray scarf a little closer to hide my bruised cheek. "And you?"

"Couldn't be better. We just got a new collection of novels in the corner. I thought of you when I saw a particular one, I think you know what it is," she informed me and she laughed happily when the light bloomed in my eyes.

"The sequel is out?" I spat happily and ruffled my wet hair a little, before I hurried to the corner she had gestured toward. I had been waiting for this book for almost two months. I almost leaped out in joy when I saw the familiar fond of the next book in my favorite series. I snatched it quickly, as in fear that someone would appear from the side and grab it before me.

Then, I found my favorite chair in the very end of the library, between two tall shelves, totally isolated from the rest of the place and smiled as I opened the precious novel. The smell of new book surrounded me, and I gladly let myself get pulled into the world the writer had written. So, for a while, I allowed myself to _just read_. I relaxed my tensed jaw and shoulders. And I continued to read, until something very small, but life-changing happened.

I felt a tinkle in my nose.

_Oh no, I was going to sneeze!_ I hated that, I hated when people looked my way, but I couldn't stop it.

"ACHOO!" I exclaimed, and tried to kill it by holding a hand over my face.

"Bless you," a gentle tone told me, and I look up stunned by the closeness of the voice. He seemed to stand behind the wall of books beside me, so I couldn't see his face, but he clearly heard my jump by the creaking of the chair.

"Sorry, did I startle you?" the stranger apologized. _What? Wait, No one ever apologized to _me_?_

"No, it's fine and thank you," I murmured back.

"Thank you? For what?"

"For saying 'bless you'."

"Oh, you're welcome," he laughed and took a step around the bookshelf. We both tensed a little in surprise when our eyes met. My mouth opened slightly and I measured him with my eyes. If his clothes hadn't been different, his hair styled in neat spikes, and his eyes glowing so much brighter than mine I would have called him a mirror image of myself.

Still with my mouth slightly ajar I furrowed my eyebrows. "Are you-"

"Are you-," he said at the exactly same time, and we both paused on the same word.

"You are!" he both chorused, but stopped. "Okay that's creepy," we both uttered. The other person smiled widely and before I could react he had put a hand over my mouth.

"You're Kaoru, right?" he concluded. I was still startled from his movement, and nodded timidly. His hands were so warm and soft; I doubted that his punches would even hurt. His eyes seemed to brighten and he moved his hand from my mouth. "Do you remember me? We played together as kids."

_Of course I did!_ _I have actually just thought about you today. You're Hikaru! God! I'm so happy to see you!_

But of course I didn't burst out like that. Instead I simply nodded again, caressing my face where he had touched me. But then remembered to tug my scarf up, hiding the bruise from earlier. Hikaru didn't seem to have noticed.

He took a step back and grinned. "You still look exactly like me. I have always wondered if it was just because 'kids look alike', but we're like twins. So weird," he said, leaning closer toward me.

My mouth twisted in a frown and I winced slightly. I wasn't used to people being kind to me … or close to me. So, I was unsure how to respond, but I felt so dumb just standing there.

"Y-yeah, you're Hikaru," I said, and that seemed to be all Hikaru needed to keep talking.

"That's right! I have thought a lot about you, actually. I'm so happy that I ran into you here," he gestured to the library. "I wondered if you still lived in this town – I'm happy you do."

I felt my lips lift slightly. "I'm happy to see you t-"

"Kaoru!"

My mouth closed shut and I turned around startled, dropping my book on the floor with a small thud. Hikaru's eyes twisted in confusion and flung to the thing that had startled me.

Before I could turn all the way around someone harshly grabbed my arm. I let out a stunned gasp, but didn't have a chance to resist when my mother yanked me with her.

"What do you think you're doing here?" she hissed out. I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment, I couldn't believe she had come to get me in a public place – and in front of the first person that I actually cared about seeing it.

"I was just reading," I mumbled, feeling Hikaru's eyes dig into the back of my head.

"Your father have been asking for you," she sighed, pulling me along. Her fingers were tight around my wrist and I had a hard time not showing it.

I glanced back at Hikaru who clearly looked taken aback.

"Are you listening?" My foster-mother snapped, shaking me. I snatched my gaze away from Hikaru and nodded.

"You're always so much trouble," my mother hissed out, shaking me more.

I nodded again, tiredly, feeling my scarf drop down around my neck as I did so. Hikaru's eyes widened when he saw the slightly blue-yellowish mark on the side of my face. I noticed his stare and hurried to adjust it back without a word.

"H-hold on," I heard Hikaru mutter stunned, but my mother had already yanked me along. I allowed myself to fling my eyes toward him a last time. He stood absolutely frozen behind us, with my book in his hands. I stared longingly at it, but decided that it would be idiotic to turn back.

Hikaru's golden eyes didn't leave my form for one second while I was dragged out.

Once outside the library, I stumbled forward, trying to get into my foster-mothers pace so I wouldn't look too much like, a child being pulled along by his angry mother.

I finally managed to walk beside her, much to her disdain. She let go of my arm with an angry yank as we reached the car. Or rather: A small, old, red box with wheels. It was parked in a rush, just on the other side of the library.

"Get in!" she demanded, although I had already opened the door.

"Wait! Kaoru!" A sudden voice erupted from across the street. I lifted my gaze, seeing Hikaru sprinting out of the library and toward us. My mother exhaled an angry sigh, not even bothering to look toward the voice and got into the car – expecting me to do the same – but I paused.

Hikaru conquered the small distance between us in a few long strides and I instinctively tugged my scarf closer to my face, making him frown slightly, but he shook it off.

"Here!" he spat when he reached me, holding a square form toward me.

I held his gaze shortly before looking down, and my eyes brightened. "My book."

"Yeah, you didn't seem to be done, so I got it for you," he said, smiling again, but this time it seemed sad and… forced.

"Kaoru! Get in here!" My mother hollered from the front seat.

Hikaru's smile disappeared completely. I made a move toward the car, but Hikaru's arm caught my wrist, his eyes flickered nervously. "Kaoru, can I just ask you one last question."

I furrowed my eyebrows, looking at my mother from the corner of my eyes, but then slowly nodded.

"How did that-" he poked his own cheek lightly, the exact same place I had my bruise. "How did that happen?"

I sighed, looking at the ground then back at him. "I fell."

"Kaoru!" my mother yelled impatiently.

"I'm coming," I mumbled, turning my back to Hikaru. "I really _am_ happy to see you too, but I got to go." I mumbled before getting into the car.

But once again he grabbed my arm. "You didn't fall, did you?"

I pressed my lips together and looked away. "Yes, I really did. Sorry, but I _really_ need to go, thanks for the book," I simply mumbled, and Hikaru hesitantly let my arm slip between his fingers. Giving me a last small smile.

"You're welcome. Hey, I really hope we met again. I have a lot to tell you."

I returned the smile with a smaller one. "Me too."

I closed the door quickly and looked back at him from the car-window; he had obviously not swallowed my lie about falling, judging from his expression.

My foster-mother started the car, and it roared awake. I quietly looked at Hikaru a last time, our eyes connecting to a level that scared me. I had never looked anyone in the eyes for as long as I held Hikaru's gaze. However our eye-contact was broken when the car started rolling down the street and the auburn-haired boy disappeared in the horizon.

oOo

My foster-father had been horribly drunk that night. I stood in the shower and blood was dripping from my arms, legs, and back. One of the worst places to get hurt is your back because if you're like me and have to take care of it yourself it isn't easy.

I just can't wait for this day to end. My foster-mother told me to stay home from school tomorrow so the cuts could close a little and it wouldn't look as bad when I went to school. But. As much as I hated going to school I would rather go there than stay here.

oOo

Hikaru Hitachiin looked up at the new school and his lips cracked in a smile. A new place, new victims to play with, new teachers to prank and new people to meet. He was _so_ ready for this.

With determined steps he walked to the main-entrance, pulling the strap of his backpack a little up his shoulder.

However, he hadn't taken more than one step inside the double doors, before a petite brunette walked in front of him, halting him to a stop. At first glance he thought the person was a guy, but when his eyes trailed to her clothing he quickly lifted an eyebrow.

"Are you Hikaru?" she asked. Straight to the point. He pulled his eyes off her form, to her eyes - that kind of reminded him of chocolate - and smiled.

"I am."

She stretched her hand toward him. "Hallo, I'm Haruhi Fujioka and I-" she suddenly trailed off, and her eyes widened slightly. He looked at her face with a questioning expression.

"Do I have something on my face?" he tested with a hesitant smile, stroking his cheek lightly.

Her hand fell and chocolate orbs twisted in confusion. "No, you don't. Hey, are you related to Kaoru?"

Sudden realization brightened in the teens eyes and he smiled. "Oh, does Kaoru go to this school? That's great. I'm a childhood friend of his."

She tilted her head slightly. "He does, but you look more like a brother than a friend. Your faces are exactly the same."

"Yeah, we've been told," Hikaru said with a smile. "Our parents even mistook us once."

"So weird," she deadpanned. Hikaru laughed inwardly and ran a hand through his spikes.

"Yeah," he pulled the word out, and then smiled. "Let's start over." He stretched his hand toward her. "Hi, I'm Hikaru Hitachiin, an only-child."

She returned his smile and took his hand. "I'm Haruhi Fujioka, and I'll show you around the school." She said, almost as if she had rehearsed that sentence a lot. "If you have questions, just ask."

"Great," Hikaru beamed, and slowly followed her down the halls. Everyone was already in their classes, except a few slackers here and there. The brunette started telling him about all the classrooms and hallways, but his mind was far from there. _Kaoru was going to this school_; it seriously couldn't get any better. He had never met a person he could relate to as much as when he had met Kaoru. He would do _anything_ to maintain that relationship again. He actually couldn't wait to talk with him again.

"-And this is the hall to the physic-"

"Hey, can I ask you something?" he suddenly piped in. "What class will I be going to?"

"4B, my class," she mumbled, a little unhappy to be interrupted.

"What class is Kaoru in?"

"Um, our class too."

"Really?" Hikaru smiled widely. "That's great."

Haruhi looked dumbfounded by that response, and Hikaru's smile slowly faded into confusion. "What is it?" he questioned.

"Oh," Haruhi spat, shaking her head. "Sorry, I'm being single-minded. It's just. I have just never heard anyone say that they… you know, was close to … Kaoru."

Hikaru's frown changed to utter perplexity. "What do you mean?"

Haruhi looked uncomfortable. "Well, Kaoru doesn't really have any friends here. Not that he's trying," she added the last part quietly. "He has always been very… stuffy. He never let's anyone into his head. Never asks for help from anyone, although he clearly needs it."

Hikaru halted to a stop. "What do you mean by, 'needs it'?"

oOo

I was all alone when I woke up, but that suited me perfectly. I awoke when the door slamming shut downstairs, and just lay there, listening to the silence for a while. When I was completely sure that no one was in the house, I sat up with a pained breath.

I glanced out the tiny window beside my bed. The sun was halfway up the sky outside, meaning that school had already started, but I was not going. My back was still aching from yesterday, and I had to use all my willpower to get into a sitting position on my bed. I unbolted the window and let the cool wind stream into my room. The air was damp, so it had probably rained all night.

I let my feet slowly caress the bare wooden floor, lifting myself up with my hands. It felt like my legs weighted a hundred pounds at that moment, caused by the still sore wounds on my body. They weren't _hurting_ anymore; they were just _stinging_, which were almost worse.

Carefully and deliberately, I staggered to the bathroom, splashing water in my face once I reached the sink, but as usual I avoided the mirror. I hate looking at myself; a pale, wide-eyed, skinny teen with bruises and lacerations all over. No, not a sight I needed.

My stomach rumbled, and I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday, at all. And it's not like I have been over-feed the day before that, either.

I quickly ran downstairs, skipping two steps at the time on the stair, and opened the fridge eagerly once in the kitchen. Empty. Of course it was. Perfect. I slammed it shut again, sighing.

And I had thought this day would be good. My stomach rumbled again, as to underline my thoughts, but I could only rub it sadly. I had no money to buy food, so my only option was to wait for my foster-parents to get home, which didn't exactly thrill me. I never liked asking them for anything, but I was _starving._

I decided to walk it off. The weather was matching my mood perfectly as I came outside. Grey clouds were floating in from the south, slowly encapsulating the sun, and suffocating the sunshine with their dark forms.

I wandered down my street, avoiding the puddles of water, with my usual grey scarf tugged over half of my face to cover the bruise. I was trying to get my mind off my roaring stomach, but it seemed almost impossible. Especially when I approached the main-street. The streets that was walled with shops. Clothes, shoes, jewels, furniture and… food.

I halted to a stop by the local bakery. The smell of newly made bread and pastries filled my nostrils, sending sweet sensations through my head and making my mouth water.

My hands pressed against the glass and I literally _stared_ at the mouthwatering foods. I wondered how it would feel to sink my teeth into the soft surface, feeling the sugary taste of bread fill my mouth, and the feeling of the creamy inside that reached my tongue and… no!

I forced my eyes off the window. I shouldn't temp myself with something like that. I let my palms slowly slide down the glass in misery. My foster parents would never buy me something so absolutely delicious. Never.

I lifted my eyes again, lingering on the treats once more. That's when a horrible thought struck me. _I could just take them_. The owner definitely wouldn't notice if I took a single piece of something. I was starving, and he had so much anyway. Nobody would get hurt, but I would get much better. How was that bad?

I swallowed, walking slowly toward the door. To my horror a light bell chimed above my head when I entered and I almost dashed back out. However, a cheerful "hallo", paused me, and I stood frozen in the door.

"What would you like, dear?" an elderly woman asked me, smiling, from behind the counter. '_She is old'_, I thought. Her face was filled with soft wrinkles and her hair was as white as snow. Her smile was pleasant, as if she would think the best of even the worst criminal. How could I steal from a woman like that?

My stomach roared loudly in response and I gritted my teeth. The woman chuckled lightly.

"You seem hungry," she concluded. "What can I give you?"

I shook my head slowly. "I'm just… looking."

She gave me a small smile and retreated to the back of the store. I almost gasped in disbelieve. She was just letting me stay here, unsupervised, with all these delicious foods. Her trust was almost unbearable.

But my mind went blank from those thoughts when I looked down at the colorful deserts and steaming breads. My belly seemed to make flick-flacks, and I couldn't bear it. It was so... in reach.

As swiftly as I could, I lunged out toward a loaf of bread. It was plain, with a few seeds on top, and it surely wouldn't be missed, since there was an identical one behind it. Speaking of identical…

"Kaoru?"

I let out a stunned yelp when the sound of the bell went off again, and spun around, with the bread in my hands. A boy, who had my exact facial features, stepped inside the bakery. His golden orbs found me instantly.

I stood as paralyzed. My eyes glowing with guilt, as I held my stolen goods. Hikaru stood still in the door as well, but he was the first to move forward with a friendly smile showing on his face. "Where were you today?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"I started going to the same school as you, and same class too."

"How do you know I'm in your class?"

"The teacher called your name, but you wasn't there."

"Oh."

"Which leads me back to my first question."  
>"I didn't feel like going."<p>

"Why?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why is it important?"

"Because I care about you," Hikaru shrugged. "You're my long lost childhood friend."

That took me off guard; no one had ever said that they 'cared about me'. It kind of made me… happy. However, that didn't mean that I would tell him the truth.

"I felt sick this morning." I lied, but Hikaru only rolled his eyes.

"If you're going to lie to me _all the time_ - which is a pain by the way - you need to work on your pokerface, it's horrible," he told me, grinning, but I didn't return the smile.

"I should go," I mumbled, starting to walk toward the exit, but Hikaru grabbed my arm. "What n-" I began, but stopped when I suddenly looked into austere eyes.

"Aren't you going to pay for that?" his eyes were not judging, simply confused. I didn't know what to do. I deeply wished that Hikaru had met me some other place, some other time. I wanted to talk to him; I wanted to listen to him, like when we were kids. But he seemed to appear on the worst possible times, and my first impression was screwed for good. And I was just _so hungry._

So. I panicked. With a quick twist of my wrist I broke free from his hold and sprinted out of the door, getting a short glimpse of his startled expression from the corner of my eye. The bell rung out angrily behind me, but I ignored it and kept running. The bread clung to my chest.

"Kaoru!" I heard him yell after me, but I ignored it, running like a convict with his stolen gems. The crust of the bred crumbled slightly under my stern grasp. I was feeling a horrible pain in my chest, almost similar to when Hikaru had left the town last time.

That's when a roaring sound echoed behind me, and I almost _ran into a car_. The black Ferrari came out of nowhere, and with squealing tires blocked my path. I manage to save my grace by landing both my hands on the front, but watched in horror as my bread fell to the ground.

5-second rule! I quickly scoped up the bread, staggering away from the car, but Hikaru has already stepped out and stood with his hands crossed over his chest. Somehow, this makes me pause.

"Get. In."

"Wha-"

"Get in!" he demanded a little louder.

"No, I-"

"You have bruises," he suddenly exclaims, and I quickly touched my face. My scarf had fallen off again. Perfect. Hikaru took a few long strides, standing right in front of me, making me recoil. "You're practically a mental mess, and you're _stealing_."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he didn't seem to be done. "I have seen this before. I have friends like you, but none of them have reached this point of break down. Please." His tone softened. "I want to help you. I want-"

"_You don't know me_!" I suddenly yelled, throwing the bread angrily at the ground without thinking. The food that should have reassured my survival, soaked up the water from the ground, and was now inedible. Hikaru paused, but I bet I was more stunned by that outburst than him. However, I wasn't done. "You don't know me anymore. You. Left!" I shouted, pointing at him. "I was all alone, because you _left_. You have _no_ idea what I have been through. You have no idea. You! With your stupid fancy cars, and stupid designer clothes. You know nothing about me."

Hikaru mouth was slightly ajar. It annoyed me. Why did he look so surprised? Why did he look so hurt? I hadn't said anything wrong, I had just had enough of this act. He should know. He should know that I wasn't the same Kaoru as I was 10 years ago. I wasn't as innocent and kind. I was broken. I was – as he had said – "a mental mess" now.

I looked down, my voice suddenly breaking. "Just leave me alone. Everyone else knows how." I let out a gasp, when Hikaru's arms suddenly flung around me. "What are you doing?" I spat – _stupid question, he was obviously hugging me, but why? _I pressed my palms against his chest, but he just tightened his grip.

"Come home with me."

"What? No!" I exclaimed, struggling more. "Kaoru, I know your parents are abusive."

My eyes widened in shock for a moment, but then they instantly narrowed in wariness and I pulled out of his hands. "Who told you that?"

"I talked to some of your classmates. People talk a lot about you in school," he admitted.

"Sh-Shut up. They don't know what are you are talking about!"

"Kaoru, let me help you out of this, before you get hurt."

"Nothing is going to hurt me, but me. My parents aren't abusive and I don't want or need you fucking help. Can't you take a hint? I don't like you!"

"You don't have to go back there," he whispered. I stopped struggling, but gritted my teeth angrily.

"I have to."

"You don't!" Hikaru disagreed and suddenly leaded me toward his car. I stared at his huge designer car for a second. Hikaru would take me away, from everything. I exhaled silently. I really wanted to go with him, but-

"I can't," I mumbled. Hikaru was holding the car-door open for me, gesturing for me to go inside.

"I have missed you so badly, alright," Hikaru told me, his eyes looking slightly frustrated. "I was so excited when I saw you in the library. I have missed you. I know we were only children, but I feel like… you're the only one that understands me completely. Even, if you're not the one who _knows_ me the best. Kaoru, you want to go with me too, don't you?"

I felt my eyes drop.

"I know, alright! I do! But I _can't_," I said miserably. "My foster parents, they will-" I stopped myself from saying "punish me", and instead just stared at my feet. I heard Hikaru slam the door shut, but I kept looking at my feet. I had trained my eyes for years not to cry. I never cried when I was hit, or scolded, not when I was bullied or picked on, but I really had to use all of my concentration at the moment. Why?

My head was without warning lifted by a pair of warm hands, and my face forced to look into serious golden orbs, matching my own, but still so different in confidence.

"I will not let you go back there." His hand snatched my wrist, again, and I made a hissing sound in disdain.

I tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let me. I sighed in annoyance, trying out with a different tone, since _I_ would break down if I yelled again. "Hikaru. Let me go. Thank you for the offer, but I am going to go back and there is nothing you can do about it."

"At least stay at my house for tonight."

"I can't I have plans," I lied. Hikaru opened his mouth again, but was interrupted by a light ringtone sounding from my pocket and I grabbed my phone with my free hand, tensing when I saw the caller ID. I fumbled with the device for a second, before stutteringly answering with a short. "Hallo?"

"Where the hell are you?"

I swallowed. It was my foster-father and he sounded drunk. "I- I'm almost home."

"Get home. Now!"

"I will-" I mumbled, but he had already hung up. I let my hand with the phone drop and looked back at Hikaru. I needed to get home, and I needed to get home _now_. But Hikaru didn't seem to let me unless I compromised things. "Will you met me here tomorrow," I mumbled, using a new tactic.

Hikaru lifted an eyebrow. "Met you?"

"Yes, I'll give you an answer tomorrow," I whispered. "About going home with you, I mean."

Hikaru licked his lips in deep thoughts, but then he seemed to soften. "Okay." He mumbled, releasing my arm. "I'll be here tomorrow after school, until you get here."

I nodded slowly, not mentioning that I had no intentions of showing up.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, after this super long pause I have finally produced something again. xD I have used a totally new writing style than I usually do, so I'm excited to see what you guys think. :) <strong>

**Please review for the love of cookies! :D**


	2. Sorry, My Friend Has AngerIssues

**Chapter 2.**

'**Sorry, My Friend Has Anger-Issues'**

I hadn't taken more than one step outside when I almost turned back home. The rain was _pouring. _Hitting the cobblestones like angry bullets. I sighed, if my father hadn't been home, I would have skipped school.

It had been like this the whole fall. It was not even the endurable soft raindrops that made pearls of water in your hair. No. It was the huge _fat_ drops that splattered all over you and soaked you to the bone.

I started sprinting down the street. Feeling my backpack bounce off my sore back, but paid it no further mind. Luckily I didn't have far to school.

I could see the school building towering up in the horizon and breathlessly ran a little faster, pulling my backpack off my back and held it over my head to cover for the rain. I passed a few kids who gave me weird looks – well, not _everyone_ owns an umbrella, alright!

"Kaoru? It's Kaoru, right?" a blithe voice suddenly called out. I turned around stunned, dropping my backpack down on the wet ground. At first, I feared that it was Sam, or one of his jocks/protectors, but when I turned I saw that it was… a pretty girl. What the _hell _would a pretty girl want with _me_?

She was short, with an appealing face and short brown hair. Her jacket was a little too large and looked old, but her face was healthy, so she probably wasn't _poor_, just common. She was holding a large, blue umbrella over her head, and unlike me, she was dry.

I frowned, wiped some water off my face, and bent down to retrieve my bag. I straightened again, holding the bag over one shoulder and let her catch up to me before I answered. "Do I know you?"

She seemed slightly surprised by my comment, but then she still smiled, holding the umbrella over my head in good sport. "Um, yeah, I'm Haruhi… I'm in your class."

"Oh." I mumbled, surprised. I could hear the soft tapping of the rain on top of plastic, from the umbrella above me. She crept under it too, and suddenly we were _both_ under it. It suddenly didn't feel large anymore.

I swallowed, trying to walk a bit away from her, since I was dripping wet.

There were a few moments of silence, and we both paced down the street. I planted my hands in the pockets, tugging on my gray scarf. The bruise was almost gone, only a shade of yellow was remaining. I tried walking as far away from her as possible, without seeming ungrateful for a space under her umbrella. Haruhi didn't seem to notice. She just kept holding the umbrella over both our heads. We had reached the entrance to the school before she spoke again.

"So, how are you?" she finally verbalized after the long silence.

"Fine." I lied – I did that a lot.

"That's good." She closed the umbrella quietly, and we both hurried inside the warm school, along with the crowd of other drenched teens. I was still soaked, even if I had walked under her umbrella most of the way. I bend over and ruffled the water out of my hair, before straightening again and almost wincing in surprise as I looked back at her.

She was _staring_.

I lifted an eyebrow, looking back at her, but her glance didn't stray and I felt like I had to say something. "Did you want anything?" I mumbled, unsure of why she had even decided to talk to someone like me.

She shook her head, with a small smile. "Um, no. I guess, I was just curious."

We reached the hallway to our classroom, and I rubbed my arms to regain circulation, before giving her a questioning look.

"Curious?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "Because Hikaru speaks so fondly of you all the time, I guess, it got me curious," she explained, giving me another beam. However, I frowned.

"What did- urgh!"

At that moment a harsh shoulder connected with mine, shoving me into the lockers with a metallic thud. "Oh, sorry, freak," came the amused apology. I didn't even look toward the culprit; I was too focused on gritting my teeth. It had been the sore part of my back, and I was seriously hoping the wound wouldn't open.

I looked up, to see if anyone had noticed, and suddenly peered into stunned golden orbs, matching my own. Hikaru was standing a small distance down the hall, watching me. At first, I thought he was going to run to my side in concern, but then his eyes twisted in anger, and instead he dropped his bag on the floor and tramped right past me.

He was going after the jock. "Hikaru, knock it off-" I began, but suddenly Haruhi was in front of me, her eyes shining with alarm.

"Are you okay?" she mumbled in concern, but I had already pushed ungratefully past her, following after my foolish friend. Man, he walked swiftly. My bag felt like it was on fire, but I still zigzagged through the mass of people to get to Hikaru.

Unfortunately, he caught up to the jocks before I caught up to him.

"Hey, what's your problem?" he boldly hissed, swiping his hands lightly against the one who had bumped into me. The jocks turned around slowly, towering over Hikaru like a massive rock.

His lips seemed to twist in a smile when he saw the approaching face. "So, the freak is actually speaking up?" he began, obviously thinking that Hikaru was I. But Hikaru didn't let him continue.

"I don't know who you think you are, but I don't appreciate that you knock my friend into a locker like that," he said, pointing at the jock and then toward me, who was still fighting through the crowd to reach them.

The jock seemed stunned to see 'two of me', but quickly snapped back. " Are you his older brother or something?"

"I'm his friend," Hikaru sneered, his temper getting out of control. I finally managed to get to him and grabbed his arm.

"Hikaru, come o-"

"Hikaru, huh?" the jock said, bending down to his eye-level. "What exactly did you want to say, Hikaru?" he said mockingly. I pressed my lips together in anger, opening my mouth.

"You're a prick!"

I stood there flustered for a second, but then I realized that the words hadn't actually come from my mouth, but from Hikaru's. The jock's eyes narrowed in anger. His whole massive body tensing in anger.

"What did you say?" he uttered, very slowly. Hikaru stood firmly across from him, his lips twisted in forced seriousness, but the amusement shone from his eyes.

"You're a self-centered prick," Hikaru said again, and I knew I had to jump in, but Hikaru wasn't done. "You think that just because you're some popular mass of arrogance-" I started pulling him backwards, but he struggled against my hold, his anger starting to fume. "-You think that because of that, you're _special_!" he yelled, and everyone in the hall started walking a little slower, quiet murmurs starting to spread.

The jocks eyes flickered a bit, but Hikaru boldly continued. "Yeah, that's right, the gossips running, watch out, or your reputation will get stained. I bet you think you live the sweet life, but you're the sad one! You have to knock people over to know your fucking status! You're weak, _pathetic_!" The jock was staring at him, looking like a terrifying beast that would rip his prey apart in a second.

"Who the hell made you king of the world, you cocky bastard. You're just a new kid, what makes you think you know shit," the jock piped in, and one of his friends stepped forward from behind him with an alert expression, and put a hand on his chest, mumbling something like. 'calm down.'

Hikaru stretched a finger toward him, with a mocking tone, while I partially dragged him away. "I'll say whatever I want. You're just a moron! How many tests have you failed, huh?"

"What the hell did you say?"

The jock took an angry step toward the auburn-haired boy, but now another friend grabbed his shoulder, mumbling more calming words. I didn't like the smirk on his face.

"Hikaru, shut up!" I pleaded, placing myself in front of him, pushing my palms against his chest. It was as if Hikaru just then realized my presence, as he gaped down towards me in surprise.

"Kaoru?" His body suddenly loosened up, and it got much easier to push him into the bathroom.

"Yeah, who the hell else?" I exclaimed, looking at him with furious eyes. I let him go with a final angry push. "What was that?"

Hikaru shrugged, his surprised expression getting replaced with seriousness. "I don't put up with people like him." He put both hands in the pockets. "I never have."

"Well, you just got yourself an enemy. A bad one," I spat furiously. "What's with that sudden temper?"

"I don't have a temper," Hikaru mumbled sheepishly.

I ignored that comment. "What did you even think you could do? He's only going to harass me twice as badly now."

Hikaru looked alert. "If he ever hurts you-"

"Stop it!" I interrupted him, lifting my hands in annoyance. "I. Don't. Want. Your. Help." I spelled out for him, pronouncing every word carefully. "I never did. So stop it! Stop protecting me, stop caring about me and, for god's sake, stop talking to me. You'll just get yourself into trouble." _like today. _Like always for me.

_Fuck_, my eyes were watering, I didn't yell that often, so I guess my concentration had been broken. I wasn't going to cry. I gritted my teeth, and luckily the waterworks seemed to retreat.

"I am not the same, alright," I began, having to pause for a second to regain my composure. Hikaru watched me with expressionless eyes, not saying a word or moving a muscle. "I'm… not… _nice_ anymore," I said, in a need of a better word. "I am cold, and antisocial now. I'm not-"

Hikaru just stood. I wish he would say something, finish my sentences like he did in the library, but he didn't. I let my hands drop, running a hand through my hair. I opened my mouth in defeat.

"I'm sorry."

The word took me completely by surprise, since he had only said it a second before I would. I looked at him, and winced when I saw that he was now smiling.

"I'm sorry, but I wont stop," he said, very quietly. His hand was suddenly on the top of my head, ruffling my hair. "See you late, Kao."

_Kao? _

By the time my brain had finally comprehended what had happened, he had already walked out the door behind me.

"Hold o-" I began, reaching a hand out, but he was gone. I frowned. _Stupid Idiot._

* * *

><p>I walked into the cafeteria and found my desired table quickly. It was by the window, at the far end of the room, and it was always empty (almost like my space in the library). Perfect. I sprawled my bag out on the table and zipped it open to find my lunch. An apple and bread with cheese. I didn't like cheese… well, I liked some specific brands of cheese, just not <em>this <em>cheese, but that was all I had found in the fridge.

I took a second to look around. It seemed that everyone had found their usual seat. Except, that I couldn't spot Hikaru anywhere – _not that I was looking for him_!

Maybe he had gone home to eat, or went to a place with some friend. I don't know. And I don't care. Why should I care? It's not like he's close to me. He's just some long lost childhood friend, who barely even knows me. Heck, he really doesn't know me, so I don't get why he's trying to talk to me. I'm glad I don't see him!

The chair across from me sudden scraped against the floor. I looked up to see that I had spoken too soon. Because, right across from me, Hikaru turning the chair backwards and sat on it, his usual perky grin plastered on. "Hallo."

I frowned. "What is it?"

"Ouch," Hikaru teased, folding his hands on top of the chair and rested his head on them. "Happy to see you too." I ignored him, so he quickly spoke again. "Do you want to eat with me and my friends?"

"My _friends and I_." I corrected.

"What?"

"Nothing. And no thank you," I mumbled, taking a bite of my disgusting cheese.

Hikaru made a face. "Do you really like that?"

"No," I said truthfully, letting it drop to the table, grabbing my apple instead. I hurried to take a bite to rinse out my mouth, and Hikaru chuckled.

"You're strange."

"That's probably the weakest insult I've ever gotten," I told him, and he laughed again. I frowned. I wasn't _that_ funny.

"Kao, you should really come to our table," he told me, still smiling.

"That again?" I murmured, ignoring the nickname, as I took another bite of the fruit in my hand.

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll buy you proper lunch," Hikaru offered, pointing at the cheese that had been ungratefully slashed on the table. I stopped chewing, finally looking at him. I couldn't deny that I longed to be full – even if it was on disgusting cafeteria food.

His eyes lit up in victory by my hesitation.

"Fine," I finally said, glaring at him. "This once."

Hikaru's lips curled into a smile and he stood up from his chair. "Great."

I furrowed my eyebrows – _he didn't have to exaggerate._

Hikaru bought me some food, and my eyes lingered on the full plate as in a daze. Actually, I didn't even realize that I had sat down, and was now being _glared_ at by a bunch of strangers.

When I snapped out of it, I quickly straightened up. I scanned the table quickly. To my right was Hikaru, grinning like a foul. Next to him was that Haruhi-girl from earlier. Next to her were: a tiny blonde, a dark-haired guy, a taller blonde and one with glasses. I frowned and looked toward Hikaru, but he looked completely relaxed in the foreign company. Hadn't he just met these people too? Why wasn't he nervous?

"You're Kaoru, right?" I blinked in surprise, looking back at the glasses-one.

"Yeah," I said.

"Hmm, I have never seen you before," the tallest blonde told me. "How long have you gone to this school?"

I frowned. "All along."

The blonde looked flustered and opened his mouth, but Haruhi hurried to cut him off. "Anyway, this is Honey," she gestured toward the one that looked youngest. "The tall one is Mori. The idiot's Tamaki. And that's Kyouya."

"Hey!" Tamaki whined by the "idiot"-part. I felt my lips lift slightly as Haruhi and the blonde started to argue. The others started talking as well, discussing various subjects that I didn't relate to at all. But... soon I actually loosened up and began to eat. Hikaru would sometimes try to bring me into the conversation, but I enjoyed listening much more.

I learned that Kyouya had a black notebook, where he wrote all kind of stuff about people, I kind of wanted to see it, but decided not to ask. I also learned that Tamaki was the heir of the Suoh's and his parents owned the school. Haruhi had gotten a scholarship, and Honey and Mori was experts in martial arts.

I _actually _found myself sad when the bell rung, which frightened me slightly. I noticed that Hikaru was peeping at me, and I swear he was wearing one of his cheshire smiles as he saw my expression.

"What?" I snapped.

"Nothing," he said, but the smile never left his face.

* * *

><p>Hikaru caught up to me after classes, walking into my pace with that ridiculous smile on his lips. "So, what do you think of the others?"<p>

"They're nice," I admitted.

"So, I'll see you at the meeting place later, as you promised, right?"

"I… guess." I mumbled, looking away.

"Good. I have to run an errand, but I'll see you later," Hikaru gave me a final grin before disappearing into the crowd of teens. I followed him with my eyes until he was around a corner and then looked down.

What the hell was that? I didn't actually want to live with him… so why was I considering it?

When I stepped outside. the clouds had drifted away. Somehow, the sun had fought its way onto the sky, lightening the school like a giant limelight. Some naïve girls were already sitting on the grass, facing the sun, in the hopes of getting just a slight tan before the next storm would appear.

I paused, once outside the doors and scanned my eyes across the blue sky, holding onto my backpack strap. Global warming was seriously screwed up. Someone bumped into me from behind, which got me walking again. But the person mumbled a "sorry", so I guess it was an accident. I looked back up at the sun, as I walked.

I couldn't help but think, that Hikaru was a bit like that sun. Coming out of nowhere and pushing the cloud awa- wait what. I frowned. What was I saying? _Idiot._

I shook my head. _Since when had I thought about something so cliché_?

I walked down the street, my head bent over as always, and trying to blend into my surroundings. Which was harder than usual, since the sun lit up the whole place – including me. I looked up, blinking rapidly at the bright light, and then closed them. The sun hitting your face wasn't that bad of a feeling actually. I felt my lips curling into a slight smile, but quickly caught myself in the act, and snapped back, stunned.

Hikaru had made a difference in my mood lately – putting aside the annoyance, pestering and his alarming anger-issues – he had been …slightly… kind to me. And now I was _smiling at the sun_, what the hell?

I walked a little faster.

What was I even going to say when I should met up with him today? Should I-

I paused, when I turned down my own street. All thoughts of Hikaru, school and sunshine were suddenly wiped away. As is waking from a dream, and being forced back to reality.

The first thing I saw was the flaming light. Red. Blue. Orange. The colors almost blinded me. And then the dark smoke. Rising like a monster over my home.

My backpack dropped to the ground.

A huge red fire truck and a few small police cars were parked in front of my house. I stood stunned for a second. What was going on?

Then I darted toward the house. The puddles of water from this morning splashed up my pants, but I ignored it, grabbing the first man in my path.

"What happened?" I exclaimed, clenching onto his sleeve and almost falling over.

The man stumbled a little. "Oh! Who are-"

"What happened?" I repeated, looking at the house wildly. My eyes expanded in shock, and my brain realized the situation before the man could even utter: "someone started a fire."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Alright, finally uploaded. Thank you to OuranFire for looking it over for me. ^_^ **

**Reviewers Who Made My Day:**

**MusicMixerGURL - **Hi. Glad you're reading once again. I'm really happy that you say it's different from my other stories, because I was nervous about that. weee. ^_^

**Victoria62015 -** thank you, hope you'll stick around to see more. :D

**BuBbLeZ -** I will. ;) Thanks for the review.

**OuranFire- **hmm, you know everything now, since you're my beta, so I guess those questions are void now. lol! But I'm so happy you like and you're awesome. :D

**brings074065 - **Thank yooou! : D I'm glad you like him, although he's a little broken. ^_^

**Moonlight900 - **I knooow, I have been gone for like.. months. xD I'll keep it up the best I can. *crosses fingers for no writer-block". hehe.

**xdeathxbunnyx - **haha! I was thinking about doing a plot like that actually, really close. With Hikaru being imaginary. xD And thank you so much, I was really nervous with the writing, but I'm happy you like. weee. ^_^

**toolazytolohin - **yeah, I know. That's why I'm getting a beta for that. ^_^ Thanks for reviewing. :D

**Hope you liked and please review! :D**


	3. What now?

**Chapter 3.**

**'What Now?'**

I hate the smell of hospitals.

It isn't necessarily the mix of cafeteria food, medicine, or the disinfectant. It's the feelings those smells stir up inside me. I start to get a little claustrophobic the minute I walk inside the doors, the second _that_ smell hits my nose, I start thinking about all the people in all the rooms, on all of the floors above me – those who are sick, and dying, those who are old, with no one to visit them, and my stomach just clamps down.

I was sitting in that exact place right now, in my white chair, outside a section of the hospital called, "Serious Burns". I have been sitting there for almost two hours. Just sitting. Waiting for the news about my foster-parents. I had been asked _not_ to go in yet, so I was forced to simply sit with my hands in my lap and wait.

I had no idea what was going on_. Why had my house even burned_? _What had started it? And with what motive? Was it my foster-parents who had done it? A stranger? _I squeezed the edge of my shirt. I hated being kept in the dark.

It has turned completely dark outside, and the before sunny sky had twisted into gloom. I let my gaze linger out the squared window. Hikaru was probably waiting for me right now, in his red, fancy, sports car, wanting to take me home with him.

I let my head drop into my hands. "Fuck," I whispered inaudibly. I actually thought that I could get _one day_ to be… well, happy. I guess not.

A gradual hand unexpectedly touched my shoulder, and I almost flung out of my seat in shock. "W-what?"

"Sorry, did I startle you?" a nurse asked me, and I hurried to straighten up and shook my head softly. She was pretty. She had to be pretty newly educated, since she didn't look much older than a senior in high school. However, her smile was wretched as she looked at me, and said in a very soft tone. "Your parents will be staying here for a while. I think you should know, that they situation is very critical. Do you have anyone to stay with for the time being?"

I could think of someone. But I hesitated. Why should I burden him? I was starting to feel comfortable around Hikaru. If I lived with him, he was certain to ask about my situation – hell, he was justified to know. But the last thing I wanted was for him to pity me. Actually, I would really _hate_ that.

On the other hand, if I said I didn't have a place to be, a new foster-family was certain. I don't know if I could handle that.

"Kaoru?" she questioned, and I let my eyes trace back to hers. Her orbs were brown, but another brown than Haruhi's chocolate orbs. They were older, wiser and smarter, but they were also looking at me with pity shining like a light bulb. She clearly wanted to help me if I needed it; too bad I wasn't good at relying on people. I swallowed.

And then, I did what I always did in these situations. What I did when Hikaru questioned my life, what I did when my foster-parents asked about my grades.

I lied.

"Yes." I uttered quietly. "I do."

She seemed alleviated and smiled. "That's good. A friend?"

_No, not really. _"Yes." I mumbled.

"Did you call him, and tell them you were coming?"

_I don't have a phone_. "Yeah."

"Can you tell me his name?"

_Um, eh. I had to think of a name. Maybe I could just say Hikaru. No. No way. Then, Ehh- _

The nurse seemed questioning, and smiled softly. "If you don't have someone, you can tell me, and we'll figure something out."

"_No_!" I spat, but hurried to soften my tone. "I mean, no. I have a friend. Um... Tamaki Suoh." I mentally face-palmed myself. Tamaki? _Really_? He was the rich earl of the Suoh's, everyone knows him. How stupid can a person get? _Hikaru_ had even been a better name to lie about.

The nurse obviously recognized the last-name too. "Suoh?"

_Great, you messed up, idiot! _"Yes, he goes to my school." I explained, "We have known each other for a while."

The young nurse was hesitant for a second, but then she smiled. "Well, alright," she finally said, and I felt my shoulders relax. She beamed at me one last time, before she walked off.

When the sound of her heels had disappeared down the hall, I let my head drop into my hands. _I was officially a moron._

* * *

><p>At times like this, Hikaru wished his car had had a roof.<p>

He zipped his designer jacket all the way to his chin, snuggling into his own arms. Kaoru was horribly late, and he was seriously _freezing_. The weather had gone from 'sunny-happy-unicorn-brightness' to 'cold-wet-dimness' in the blink of an eye. But the stubborn teen refused to leave yet.

He closed his eyes and mentally thought of a very _very_ hot place. Hot beaches with warm sand, a bright sun hanging on the sky. No. No, it didn't work. Kaoru better hurry up or he would-

His phone, as on cue, buzzed from his pocket and with quivering hands he fumbled it out. As he did so, he noticed that his fingernails were turning a dangerously blue shade. He sighed sadly, but shook it off and looked at the caller ID before smiling gradually.

"Hey Haruhi," he beamed. "What's up?"

"_Hikaru? Are you with Kaoru?" _Haruhi's light voice sounded, a faint cradling sound caused by the wind twisted her voice slightly. He opened his mouth to reply, but someone piped in on the other end. "_What did he say?"_

"Are you with Tamaki or something?" Hikaru smirked and leaned back in his seat.

"_Yeah."_ She mumbled unhappily. _"Anyway, have you seen him?"_

Hikaru shook his head, until realizing that she probably couldn't see that. "No, he hasn't shown up yet. We were supposed to met, but he's not here."

"_Oh."_

"_What did he say?"_ the blonde demanded, probably leaning down toward the phone to listen to the conversation.

"_He hasn't seen him." _Haruhi answered him.

"_What?" _Tamaki spat, worried. _"Where is he then?"_

"What? Why?" Hikaru questioned perplexed. The phone call was confusing him greatly, but the two teens on the other end seemed to busy discussing back and forth to answer him.

"_Let's go this way."_

Hikaru's temper started to stir. "What? Tell me what's going on," he almost yelled into the phone.

"_Right there!" _Tamaki's voice erupted.

"Haruhi, what's-" he began desperately, but she cut him off with a:

"_Um, nothing_."

"Wai-" his word was chopped off, when the phone hung up, leaving him only with the regular "bib's" on the other end. The auburn-haired boy stared at the phone for a moment. He didn't get what was going on at all. Maybe he should call again and demand to know where they were. But then again, he had to stay here and wait for Kaoru.

His friends… or Kaoru?

His face twisted in annoyance, and he flung the phone across the car, before cuddling back into his jacket with a pout.

'_This sucks.'_

* * *

><p>'<em>This sucks,<em>' I thought angrily, hugging my body close, to warm myself, but it didn't really work, since I wasn't wearing a jacket.

Because I didn't own a jacket; actually... I didn't own _anything_ at the moment.

I wandered down the street with my head bent over and by arms wrapped around myself in a sad attempt to keep warm. Maybe they wouldn't mind if I slept by some public place, like the library. The library was always warm, so, even if I had to sleep outside I might feel the slight warmth from inside. Wasn't a library unrestricted at night?

I smiled sadly. I sounded so pathetic.

My house had burned down, and I had been stupid enough not to ask for help, because of a vile thing called 'my pride'. What the hell now? Where the hell am I supposed to go? Jesus Christ! I was a moron!

My eyes heated, but I paid them no mind.

Hikaru would be angry with me for not showing up at the meeting place, and without him, I couldn't go to the lunch table. What was I even saying? It wasn't like I needed to be around people. And people wouldn't miss me, because I would just turn back to normal. To routine. Yeah, that's right. I hadn't needed their support before, and I didn't need it now. I didn't need anybody.

"Right there!" a sudden voice wailed.

I flung around. "Hik-" I stopped, frowning. A blonde and a petite brunette were pacing quickly toward me. Tamaki was smiling and waving. Haruhi, however, was holding a phone by her ear, looking extremely worried.

"Um, nothing!" She said into her phone. She closed it, without saying 'goodbye' and abruptly ran toward me. My eyes darted to the ground. Was she going to hit me? Maybe because I didn't met up with Hikaru on time, maybe he had asked them to find me. I guess I deserved the punch then. So, I braced myself for the strike, waiting for it to pain, but… it never came.

I opened my mouth, but before I could utter a word, her slender arms embraced me tightly. I stumbled backwards in surprise, standing stiff as a board under her touch. It was so unexpected, that I didn't even flinch, instead I just stood petrified.

"Why don't you own a phone?" she complained, and I choked a gasp out, as the petite girl pressed my lungs forcefully against my spine. I tried complaining, but she continued regardless. "We saw all those fire-trucks by your house and went to check it out, and we saw your name on the mailbox."

That paused my struggle, and Tamaki caught up to us slowly.

"You alright?" he asked, but his eyes showed the amusement of Haruhi clinging to me.

"A little enclosed," I admitted in a mumble, and finally Haruhi pulled away, her face still looking unhappy, so I added. "But, I'm okay."

"Are you on your way to see Hikaru?" Tamaki asked, and I looked down again, my frown back in place. _So, they knew about that after all. That's why they were here, I had been stupid to think it was for my sake_. I swallowed before shaking my head slowly.

"Why?" Haruhi spat bewildered. I opened my mouth, but she interrupted me. "He has been waiting for you in this cold for _hours_. He seems worried too, I just spoke with him."

I looked back up, my eyes frozen. _Was that the phone call before?_ "What did you tell him?"

She looked surprised by my tone. "Nothing, really."

"Good! Don't tell him anything," I demanded and started walking. Haruhi and Tamaki stood still for a moment, exchanging glances. Then they fell into my pace on either side, and Tamaki was the first to speak again.

"Care to explain that?" he questioned, perplexed.

"Prefer not," I deadpanned, looking down. '_Please, stop bothering me. Why don't you just go back to the way you treated me before Hikaru came? It's not like he is here to force you to hang out with me again. So, why do you even care about me all of the sudden? _Jerks.

"Kaoru, please," Haruhi said, trying to keep her tone down, but it was obvious that she was annoyed with my attitude. "I know…" she paused, licking her lips before continuing. "I know that I haven't exactly been supportive in class."

I paused. My eyes lifted, and I looked at her from the corner of my eye, trying to keep my expression flat. Her chocolate orbs were plastered to the ground, and her lips pressed into a line.

"I noticed that you were having a hard time, but I didn't deal with it, I'm sorry," she said. I opened my mouth, dumbfounded.

I, all of a sudden, felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched a little in surprise. My eyes soared to the taller blonde, who was smiling down at me as well.

"Me too. I judged you unfavorably before knowing you," he admitted, sounding slightly guilty and regretful. He let out a awkward laugh and scratched his cheek. "I was really surprised when Hikaru told me about your 'good side'. I'm not usually such a jerk to ignore people. I'm sorry, and I do care." Haruhi looked up again, catching my gaze.

I emerged my eyes immediately, feeling a slight flutter in my stomach.

I ran a hand through my hair in deep thought. People didn't talk to me this way. They just _didn't. _It was abnormal.

"Kaoru," Haruhi caught my attention again. "Will you please tell us?"

I hesitated. My eyes darted across the tall blonde and then back to Haruhi. I sighed deeply in defeat and then nodded.

* * *

><p>Hikaru groaned as he dragged his feet toward the school entrance. He had deep, black circles around his eyes and he felt like someone was slamming bricks into his skull continuously.<p>

The effect of sleeping in a car.

Exactly. He had fallen asleep in his car last night, and when he had woken up again, his whole body had been aching, and not an inch of his brain seemed properly rested.

Kaoru hadn't shown up yesterday, at all. So now, he was going to find him and force an answer out if necessary.

The teen reached his lockers, almost stumbling into a few people on the way and started dialing the code in a daze. The locker clicked, but before he could open it a hand slammed onto the metal.

"Hikaru!" a voice cut through his trail of thoughts and shook off some cobwebs. Hikaru turned lazily, his eyes calm and tired.

"What is it?" he mumbled, until he realized who it was. His mouth opened slight ajar, but he didn't have a chance to defend himself before a fist connected with his jaw.

* * *

><p><strong>Slight cliffy. :b Hope you liked. Wee, you guys are too nice, you make me write faster. :D Hope to make a lot of more chapters. ^_^ I promise that the next chapter will be a tad longer. :) <strong>

**People of Awesomeness:**

**MusicMixerGURL - **lol, Hika is a hot-head, without his Kao's calming vibes. xD Glad you liked Hikaru's outburst, we worked a lot on it actually. lol. xD

**OuranFire -** Kao will be miserable for a little while longer. xD But he's slowly warming up to people. ^^

**sophiahitachiin - **Thank you! :D I'm so happy you say that it's different. *happy dance* I have no Idea what DFTBA stands for... *googles it* ... ... awww! Thank you, I will. :D

**wishIwereanime - **Awesome! I'll happily be that kind of drugdealer. xD

**HikaKaoTa-chan - **I still need to figure out if he'll have a happy ending. lol. ^_^ Thanx for the favorite, I luv you. :D

**xdeathxbunnyx - **Thanks, lol! I guess I made him a tsundere character, didn't I? lol. xD Oh, and I didn't even know the "friends-and-I"-thing. Thanks for saying. O_^ hope you didn't find too much in this chappy, hehe. :D I love you too my little grammar nazi. ;*

**Keybladewilder3059 - **double love in one review! :D Yay! Thank you a lotz.

**Anglegirl119 - **Thanks, I will, as often as I can. :D Love ya.

**brings074065 - **Lol! I don't know if Hika is my favorite... I love both twins (ecspecially paired, hehe ;b). And yeah, fires are often used in fanfics, because the "i-have-nothing-give-me-love"-thing is populare, I guess... or... it could be because I'm a pyro, one or the other. JK! xD

**Latte De Luca - **Thanx a lot! :D I will upload as much as I can. ^_^ Luv ya! :D

**Niaria - **Wee, glad you liked. :D I hope you'll continue reading and I'll update as much as possible. :) Thanks for reviewing, luv ya. ^_^

**SavyTheRawrSawr - **LOL! You make he crack up in public! xDDDD I will update in fear of the public gathering. Lol! The last part of your review was really sweet, thank you. *blush!* hehe. ^#^ Luv ya!

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**Moonlight900 -** His foster-father is always furious ... and drunk. xD Thank you for reviewing. :D Love ya! :D

**Thank you for all your reviews**

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**hoped you like and please review. ^_^**


	4. Keep Hikaru In The Dark Day

**Chapter 4.**

**'Keep-Hikaru-In-The-Dark Day'**

_"I hate you Kaoru."_

I flung out of bed, sweat drops dripping in pearls down my face. My bloodshot eyes were wide and terrified from stress. I felt incredibly tired, but not wanting to close my eyes again.

I had no idea where I was to begin with and had a minor panic-attack, but then I remembered last night and forced my heartbeat to calm down. I was at Tamaki's house, or rather, _mansion_ - because Haruhi and him had picked me up on the street last night. Literally.

I felt my hands shaking as I wrapped them around myself, curling up in a tiny ball in a corner of the enormous bed. I felt so much smaller in such a huge room, like a kid. And this was only a _guest room_. It was 5 or 6 times larger than my old room, and one of the chairs by the window probably cost more than all my furniture combined.

I let my messy bed-head rest on my knees and focused completely on my breathings. '_In and out'_ I chanted to myself. Which ended as a rasping: '_in, in and out, out_.'

"I'm fine," I whispered to myself, closing my eyes painfully. "Don't be a wuss, it was just a nightmare. You have them all the time, no need to whine about it." _But some nightmare it had been._

I had dreamt that I was back at my house; my foster parents had been there also. My foster-father had been very drunk and had hit me, and somehow I had been more scared than ever – because I knew he wanted to kill me this time. You know, those dreams where you just have a feeling what's going to happen? You know the outcome, but not how to stop it? That was one of those dreams. Scratch that. One of those _nightmares. _

My hands clenched around my pajamas as I recalled details.

I suddenly felt sick.

In the dream, my foster-father had thrown me into a table and on the table had been a candle. I had grabbed it as he walked closer, creeping towards me eerily, a fearsome smirk on his face. Somehow he had managed to appear even intimidating than usually, scaring me shitless. I had jumped forward with the candle tightly in my hand and I had…

I jolted out of my bed abruptly, not from fear, but from the urge to get to the bathroom before I threw up in Tamaki's nice guest-room. Disgusting, I know. But that was the least of my worries right now. Luckily, there was a bathroom right next to my room. I flicked on the lights, momentarily blinding myself from the sudden brightness. Dazed, I stumbled towards the toilet. My own breath was jammed in my throat, and my knees felt numb against the cold (and probably horrendously expensive) stone floor.

I leaned my forearms clumsily against the bare toilet seat, which where unusually clean for a toilet, I noticed.

I took a deep, calming breath, hoping to fight down the urge to _puke_. I hated nothing more than throwing up; it made me feel like I was choking, and then I start panicking and freaking out. I took one more breath, thinking it had only been a momentary sickness and had passed, but I was wrong.

I leaned over the toilet bowl as I felt it coming up, bracing myself for the following choking coughs. I wretched into the toilet and broke into a fit of said loud coughs. I tried thinking of something else, but it was too late. Unfortunately I hadn't eaten in a while, so only bitter acid swelled up in my mouth, and I weakly spit it into the bowl.

My head felt heavy and the whole world twirled around me like a blue. My eyes still hadn't gotten used to the piercing light, and amidst my confusion, I saw a shadow come toward me from the doorway. No, that's not right. I must just be imaging it or something...

"Kaoru?" I head a drowsy voice from the doorway. '_I guess I'm not hallucinating after all_'. Tamaki was standing in the entrance but was too blinded by the light to see what I was doing. "Are you okay?"

I wondered if he was too tired to think clearly, or just an idiot for asking that question when I clearly was choking on my own insides. Sorry for that mental image. With a cough, I pulled away from the toilet, flushing weakly.

"No." I said truthfully, and on shaky feet, I stood back up.

The blonde held a hand up toward the light as he approached me, his bare feet padding across the stone-floor lightly. "Need something?"

"No." I said and waved him away. I wandered toward the sink and placed each hand on either side of it, catching a quick glance of my devastated form in the mirror. "You can go back to bed."

And to my glee, Tamaki mumbled something about, 'just ask if you need something,' before he staggered back out of the room with a yawn. He closed the door lightly behind him, and I took a deep rasping breath. For the first time, in ages, I lifted my gaze and stared at my own reflection in the mirror.

I gently let a hand run across the smooth surface and felt something get stuck in my throat. "Please," I whispered toward my own form. I felt my eyes heat pathetically.

The sickening part about me burning my foster-father's face hadn't even been the worst part of my nightmare – although the most sickening.

It had been when Hikaru had walked into the room, seen my previous action and his face had twisted in disgust. His face had twisted from surprise to utter disgust. His eyes had found me, and he had voiced three words that was still echoing painfully in my head. "I hate you."

I closed my eyes for a moment; the dream had been without any sort of context but still imprinted so severely in my brain. I clenched my teeth in frustration. _Why was I so affected by this?_

oOo

Hikaru winced as the alcohol was pressed blithely against his wound.

"Don't be a baby," Haruhi scolded at him, but her face was twisted in a frown. "What were you even thinking? Getting into a fight and this early. You know, you just started at this school."

Hikaru smirked at this. "Well, _they started it_, I was just standing casually at my locker when they- **ouch**! Gosh, Haruhi, be a little more gentle!" he cut himself off when she pressed the disinfectant back on his injuries. He had been punched earlier by the jock from yesterday as "payback for his _punk-ish_ words the other day". So ridiculous – and was 'punk-ish' even a word? Hikaru had boldly fought back, and gotten a few strikes in before a teacher had broken off the fight, so he was pretty satisfied with that.

However, the jock had in the process managed to: break his lip, make a small wound beside his eye and slam him into the lockers so hard that he had gotten a pretty bad bruise on the shoulder.

"Do you know how reckless you are?" Haruhi continued, and Hikaru gave up on arguing with her.

"Alright, I know, sorry," he mumbled with eye-roll. "But I was still not the one who started it though." He added under his breath. "You sound like Ka-" his eyes suddenly widened in remembrance. "That's right! Can you believe it? He didn't met me yesterday!"

Haruhi paused in a movement, her lips pressed into a line. "Is that so." She murmured quietly. She continued wiped the last blood off his face, while she mentally wanted to reveal everything from last night, but Kaoru's words from last night resounded in her head.

_"Please don't tell Hikaru about all this."_

_"Why?" Haruhi asked stunned. "He's so worri-"_

_"Please," Kaoru said, looking at her with miserable golden eyes. "I have my reasons. Please, just please, don't tell him."_

Hikaru continued his rant with much dismay in his voice. "He has some nerve, right? I am going to find him today, and tell him a piece of my mind. I mean, he didn't even have the decency to contact me. Seriously, I slept in my freaking _car_. Do you know how sore I am? Ugh, he is so-"

"Maybe something happened," Haruhi interrupted, her voice small and soft, as she grabbed a small bandage to cover up his cleaned wound.

"But still. I think he is really- OUCH!" he exclaimed as Haruhi forced the bandage on with way too much force than necessary before he could call Kaoru anything.

"There," she said shortly and turned to leave without another word. Hikaru stared after her with confusion written all over his face. _'What the hell was that about?'_ he thought, as he rubbed his face with a displeased pout.

oOo

I felt awkward driving to school with Tamaki.

He wasn't bad company at all, because he did most of the talking, and I only had to utter a few "_hmm's_", and maybe a "_Yes_" or "_aha_" once in a while. However, it still kept me in a state where I couldn't fully concentrate on my own thoughts.

People were standing in crowds around cars on the parking lot. I had never noticed this, since I always walked to school. I mentally prayed that Tamaki would take the parking-space in the far end of the lot, but of course he didn't.

The blonde pulled into the student parking lot out of routine and parked in the first empty spot he saw. Near the entrance… and the cliques.

I stared at the groups of people who immediately seemed to recognize the sports car, and I felt like melting into my seat. I didn't deal with other people, and other people normally just ignored me. _However_, if a person they normally ignored were with someone they associated with, the people would automatically get interesting. According to my novels anyway.

I didn't feel like being questioned.

I hurried out of the car and swung my bag around my shoulder. Tamaki waved at the students, who greeted him happily. A few girls ran to him with big smiles and said something, and his reply seemed to be extremely funny for some reason. Some of them gave me strange looks as I walked out of his car, but luckily no one seemed to- _oh no_!

"Tamaki, who's driving with you?" a girl asked him. I winced.

_No one! An uninteresting, normal, human being! _"This is Kaoru." He beamed. I could hear the questions immediately flying around, but I pretended not to hear them and tried to camouflage myself into the crowd of students.

I heard Tamaki yell after me, but I just walked faster. Swinging the entrance door open, I hurried inside. Entering into the busy hallways of this school was like entering a jungle. I normally came early to avoid commotion, but it seemed like all my habits had been flipped around today.

I sighed deeply as I had to concentrate deeply on zigzagging through the crowd, and felt a few people _accidentally _bump into me, but finally I managed to find my locker. I dialed the combination and yanked a little in the door, since I had gotten the worst locker on the whole school. At least, I'm pretty sure that's the case. The door didn't budge, so I pulled a little harder, and it flung open with a metallic thud, but before I could do anything, a hand appeared and slammed the door shut again.

"Hey! Um-"

"Good morning," a blunt voice said.

I looked up at the person and immediately frowned. "Hikaru." The floor suddenly seemed very interesting today.

Hikaru nodded, as in agreement and crossed his arm while leaning toward the lockers. "So?"

"So what?" I mumbled, faking confusion.

"Where were you yesterday?" he demanded, and I could see his foot starting to tap in impatience.

"Something came up?"

"What happened?"

I pressed my lips together. "None of your business."

This took him off guard, and he blinked twice. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's none of you b- oh my god," I exclaimed stunned as I looked back up. I had planned to angrily tell him off, but that's when I saw his face. "What happened to _you_?"

Hikaru still seemed astonished my attitude, but then he smirked. "Is that concern I hear in your voice?"

"N-no-"

"I think it was."

"Kaoru! Oh, there you are!" a voice blurted out. Hikaru and I both looked up with identical aware expression, and I had a sudden urge to run for it. The tall blonde came toward us, with a confused face on. "Didn't you hear me yell Kaoru? I wanted to introduce you to the others."

"Oh, no, I didn't," I lied and looked down again. I felt Hikaru's eyes dig into the back of my head, but ignored it. "Anyway, I need to go to class."

But before I could move, a hand suddenly planted itself on my shoulder. "Wait, I still need to talk to you." Hikaru said seriously, but at that second I was, literally, saved by the bell.

"We can talk later," I mumbled and fidgeted out of his hold. "I really can't get late to class again. I have too much absence already. Um, bye."

"Wait! Kaoru, I'm serious! Kaoru!"

His voice echoed in my ears, but I just kept walking away, biting my lip.

oOo

Hikaru watched with a frustrated expression as Kaoru disappeared down the hall, as if he paid no attention to his words at all. He moisture his lips and ran a hand through his hair. '_Why was Kaoru avoiding him? Everything was finally going great… and he really wanted to talk it out. Hikaru Hitachiin actually wished to talk it out.' _The last people were moving past him to class, but he could only think about Kaoru and didn't even regard anyone around him. Then he suddenly remembered that Tamaki was still standing there and forced his eyes away from the hall.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled, although he didn't knew why he was apologizing.

Tamaki shrugged with a smile. "You really care, which is admirable, but Kaoru is a handful," the blonde mumbled.

Hikaru couldn't help chuckling. It sounded like they were talking about they own bothersome teenage child. "I guess he is," he smirked, but then his smile fell and a sudden sad glimpse showed in his eye. Tamaki's smile fell as well, and he opened his mouth, but Hikaru hurried to speak first. "I really like Kaoru," he let slip, out of the blue and looked at Tamaki with helpless eyes. "But I don't know what to do. I have to … _force_ him to socialize, and I do, because I love that look he gets. I really… really want to see him smile, just once, but he's such a freaking- I don't even know what he is." Hikaru flung his arms in the air and sighed.

"I know," Tamaki said and gave Hikaru a friendly pat on the shoulder. "He is quiet and not used to talk to others. He doesn't talk at lunch and he didn't even utter a word when he drove alone with me this morning."

"Yeah, I just wish he would talk to m-" Hikaru suddenly broke off. His eyes suddenly flickered off the floor and directly toward the blonde, gleaming with sudden suspicion. "Wait, he… _drove_ with _you_?" the words were so stunned that they almost sounded insulting, but the teen was simply so baffled by what he had heard. "Willingly?" he added.

Tamaki paled for just a split-second, then he let out an awkward laugh. "Um, yeah. I met him on the way and offered him a ride."

"And he… agreed?" Hikaru whispered the last word.

"Yeah, well, I guess he did," Tamaki babbled and took an uneasy step back. "Anyway, we should get to class, don't you think?"

"Um…" Hikaru whispered, lifting a weak hand. Once again, a person left him back, without explanation. The teen stood back with an utterly confused glance before he lowered his hand and ran a hand through his hair. '_Was this 'keep-Hikaru-in-the-dark' day?_'.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, this took way too long to write. Dx But it's up. Hope you liked. :D I'll set a deadline for myself from now on. At least a week between uploads... frooooom... now!<strong>

**Reviewers of amazing-ness: **

**wishIwereanime - **Haha, I really hope that isn't illegal, or I will be in for life. xD I'm flattered that you're breaking the law for me though. ;)

**MusicMixerGURL - **Just proves that HikaKao is cooler than math. :D

**xdeathxbunnyx - **That was exactly my thought, since Kao never had any friends before, I guess I figured that's what he thought too. ^_^ Thanks for reviewing.

**OuranFire - **The cliffies will continue. Mwuhahaha. ;) Thanks for beta'ing me. :D

**Victoria62015 - **Thank you very much. :D Glad you like, and I'll have your beat'ed chappy back very soon. ^_^

**brings074065 - **Hmm, when I just finished the anime, Hika was my favorite. Then I read the manga and Kao became my favorite. Then I read too many fanfics and now I absolutely don't know. xD

**nosylla - **Totally thank you! :D

**s - **I would love to say that the cliffy's will stop, but I don't want to lie to you. :D Thanks for reviewing. ^w^

**Moonlight900 - **The jock did. xD Now that I look at, I don't even think I gave him a name yet. xD He's just the evil jock. xb

**Mesutora - **yes sir. ;)

**KathrenCullen18 - **I will. :D And I have deadlines for myself now, so there won't be going so freaking long anymore. xD hopefully-

**Moonlight900 - **Argh! You're too sweet. ^w^ Thank you. I will upload faster. Pinky promise. ^_^


	5. You Screwed Up Birthday Boy

**Hey guys, from now on there's a upload every sunday and monday.**

**Thanks for your lovely reviews. I love ya all. :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5.<strong>

**'You Screwed Up Birthday Boy'**

Hikaru didn't have a clue that he would be attacked that morning, not before it was too late. Long arms captured him fiercely, and he let out a stunned gasp, before getting tackled into a tight grab, and stumbling forward inelegantly. His eyes widened slightly, and his body made a 180-turn to face his assailant.

"T-Tamaki?" he exclaimed, still in shock. He was glaring right into two pouting blue eyes, his eyebrows knitted together unhappily and a tight frown was stretched across the normally (ridiculously) smiling face. "W-what is it?" he spat.

The blonde looked absolutely bewildered, and Hikaru's eyes flickered across his features. What had happened? An accident? Was someone _dead_?

The blonde tightened his grab around his shoulders and shook him. "Why didn't you tell us it was your birthday?" the blonde blurted out. Hikaru blinked twice in surprise, tilting his head slightly.

"Huh?" was his first response, but then the words registered. "Oh, is it?" he shrugged. The blonde looked outraged by his lack of reaction.

"You didn't remember?"

"No, I guess I lost track of the date… how did you?" Hikaru countered, pushing him away and corrected his shirt.

"Haruhi told me," Tamaki said, still looking frustrated. "She saw it written on your health test yesterday, but she didn't tell me before this morning, so now I have nothing planned!" the blonde looked like he had just spoken of dead puppies, but Hikaru just gave him an amused grin.

"I don't really ca-"

"I do! I care!" Tamaki exclaimed annoyed. Hikaru laughed quietly and was about to say something else to calm the blonde down, when he noticed a hushed student walking by them.

Kaoru's eyes lifted to Hikaru's level as he staggered by, and for a lingering second their eyes connected. Hikaru noticed that the lone teen looked incredibly tired, his golden eyes were framed by dark circles and almost seemed foggy. The older teen's eyes softened and he send him a small smile in greeting. But as soon as he did Kaoru's golden eyes flickered away and attached to the floor instead.

Hikaru frowned and looked back at Tamaki. He almost leaped in shock when he saw his expression. He was glancing at Kaoru as well; his eyes calm, and almost worried. Somehow this made Hikaru's blood boil. Why would Tamaki look at Kaoru like that? Not only had Tamaki seemed more attached to Kaoru lately, but Kaoru _let him_ _be_ too. These past days Tamaki had driven him to _and _from school, spoken to him in the halls and they had exchanged these strange looks. Hikaru didn't like it. Not_ one bit_!

Especially because Kaoru hadn't talked with _him_ quite a while.

"He looks tired, doesn't he?" Tamaki said, and Hikaru was snapped out of his boiling thoughts. With a small huff Hikaru simply shrugged.

"I guess."

"He has been having nightmares lately," Tamaki mumbled, and Hikaru's eyes snatched to his face.

"What?" he asked, taken off guard. He suddenly looked worried. Kaoru was having a tough time in school already, adding his nights were a bad thing. "What kind of—" he paused, when he realized something else. "Wait, how do _you_ know?"

Tamaki seemed shocked by the question and scratched his cheek. "W-well, that's, um… he… he _told_ me. Yeah, he told me the other day." He laughed awkwardly, but I was too outraged to notice. Kaoru had told _him_? Why did he rely so much on Tamaki, and not him. He didn't get it.

Tamaki was still babbling, but he just put on a fake smile and stopped him. "Um, whatever. I'm going to class, alright?" he started walking, but felt the blonde grab his sleeve.

"Wait, we still need to plan your birthd-"

"_Forget about that fucking birthday_!" Hikaru roared, before realizing he had yelled. He looked as stunned as Tamaki for a second. A few people paced slower and looked in their direction. Hikaru stood completely still for a second. Then he swallowed. "S-sorry," he whispered, but continued walking to class without looking back.

**oOo**

_Fire._

The orange flames engulfed the furniture's of my old house, but I was unable to move away from the threat. I could hear my foster-parents scream in agony as the flames wrapped around their bodies as a blanket of pain. I didn't want that pain. But my feet were as clued to the ground, and all I could do was whimper helplessly. The heat warmed my body, making the sweat break on my forehead, but I didn't even have the strength to wipe it away.

I just sat there, wishing for someone to come. My sobs became louder and more pathetic. I didn't want to die, but there was no one to save me. I was all alone.

"Kaoru?" a soft voice breathed, very close to me. I looked up astound, and my eyes broke into more tears. It was Hikaru. He had come for me. "Get up!" he demanded and reached his hand toward me. I stared at his hand. I wanted to take it, but my body was absolutely numb.

"Kaoru! Hurry!" he yelled louder, and I looked at him with sad eyes. My mouth wouldn't budge, and I couldn't tell him that my body was paralyzed. I whimpered once more, and his eyes became wild in fury. "Take my hand, you idiot!"

I looked down in defeat. I couldn't tell him, and I couldn't make a move. I should jus give up. "Kaoru!" he thundered, making me look up again. His eyes shone with anger. "If you don't take my hand, neither of us will get away from here! We'll be stuck." That's when his legs caught on fire. I gasped. If I could only tell him to leave me, if my mouth would only move. His eyes were twisted in pain, but he didn't move, and his hand was still stretched toward me.

"N-no," my mouth finally uttered, and my finger twitched. "I don't… I don't want…"

…

"I DON'T WANT THAT!" I shouted as loud as I could and my eyes flung open, waking from my nightmare way too abrupt.

The whole class hurled their heads around, staring at me in shock, just in time to see me lose balance and trip my chair backwards. Gravity kicked in. I gasped out loud, as my head connected with the floor and the pain flashed through my skull as a white blade.

There was a single moment of silence.

Soon someone sniggered from somewhere, then another piped in. Then a boisterous laughter broke out.

If my head hadn't been slammed into the floor I think I would have blushed, but right now I was too focused on the pain. I clenched my eyes shut and held a hand toward my forehead, feeling some kind of sticky substance get attached to my fingers.

"-_oru…_ Kaoru-" a faint voice suddenly echoed in my head, and unexpectedly a pair of hands grabbed around me and helped me sit. "Shit, you're bleeding!" the voice exclaimed alarmed. By those words the laughter slowly died, and was replaced by a low mumble.

"I feel… dizzy," I whispered as in a daze, I felt the hands clench a little tighter around my shirt as I said those words.

"Mrs., could I bring Kaoru to the infirmary?" _wait, I knew that voice._

The world slowly got back into place. My eyes enlarged as I realized whom I was babbling to. "H-Hik-"

"Can you get up?" he cut me off. This time nothing stopped me from coloring. Hikaru's eyes were almost piercing me with seriousness, and never leaving my face. He looked so different when he was serious. I had only seen his cheerful and friendly self… and a few angry faces, but never this amount of cool calmness. I swallowed before nodding slowly. "Y-yeah…"

"You sure?" he pushed. "I could carry-"

"N_O_!" I spat shocked, and shook my head so fast that I dizzied myself once more. "I can stand."

Slowly I grabbed around the edge of the table and with the last strength in my sleepless body I dragged myself to my feet, noting that all eyes of the class was on me. Hikaru had his hands outstretched, as if he was expecting me to trip any moment.

My hands shook from overload. My hand touched something wet on the table, and I realized that I had drooled while sleeping and gritted my teeth in embarrassment. When I finally managed to get on my feet Hikaru was already there, wrapping my arm over his shoulder.

"Hey, I can w-wa," I trailed off timidly as I noticed his hard stare. It was a 'don't-even-try'-glare and I surrendered immediately, and allowed him to help me out of the classroom - not without a pout though. One hand was put over his shoulders, and since he was basically my height it worked out.

I tried to lean away from him as we walked; this was way too close for my taste. Hikaru noticed the movement and gave me a side-glance, but didn't say anything before we had closed the door to the class.

The hallway was deserted, and I swayed beside Hikaru, still slightly dizzy, but keeping my hand so lightly on his shoulder that it almost was a workout to keep it constantly out-stretched.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru suddenly verbalized, and I almost tripped.

"Y-yes!" I said, as on command.

"Please! Just use me for support, you moron, you're bleeding from the head," he snarled, and I flinched fearfully. I wanted to point out that it had already stopped bleeding, but I didn't like his temper on the edge, at all. So I kept my mouth shut.

"Okay," I said quietly, and leaned toward him. Admitting this made it much easier. "Sorry." I added at the end.

Hikaru's eyebrows knitted together. "For… what exactly?" he said lowly.

I looked at him baffled. "For not leaning toward you," I said dumbly. _What else_?

"Oh," he mumbled, his eyes still looking angry. We walked a little in silence, both concentrating on walking straight. I peeked at him once in a while, it would almost be fascinating to see Hikaru this angry if it hadn't been because of me – for reasons I didn't quite get. We had barely talked these past days, so I didn't recall a point in time that we had had a fight. _So, why? Why was he angry? Why are you angry_?

"Why are you angry?" I said my thoughts out loud, grasping it too late and my cheeks heated in surprise. Hikaru's eyes twisted in bewilderment and he paused in a step, which forced me to pause as well.

"What?" he uttered befuddled.

_Shit. I messed up… well, the deed was done. Maybe I could get away with just saying… _"Nothing," I mumbled, glancing up to see if he would let it go. I had overestimated my luck.

"Why am I angry?" Hikaru repeated my words as a question. His voice seemed less edgy, but even more sarcastic. I didn't know what I disliked more. "Well, besides the fact that you're ignoring me for reasons I don't know, _refuses_ to talk to me about it and clings to that blonde idiot-"

"I do not ignore or _cling_ to anyone!" I snapped back, it was only half a lie. I didn't try to ignore him at all; I just don't have a clue what to say to him. And what was that about a blonde- wait! Tamaki? No way was I clinging!

I felt my eyes hardening in annoyance, but Hikaru had cut in. "Don't even try to deny it! You drive to school with him every morning and you always have those 'secret' conversations." He rolled his eyes, and that was what triggered me.

I ripped my arm away from his shoulder, stumbling a little to regain balance and pointed a finger at him angrily. "Don't you _dare_ judge me, Hikaru! You know absolutely _nothing_." How had this conversation even turned to Tamaki?

Hikaru's eyes narrowed. "Because you tell me nothing!" he fumed and swapped my hand away from his face. I glared at him in frustration, but he wasn't done. "I don't know what's going on at all."

"Maybe you should stop mingling in my personal life."

"Don't want to!"

"What?" I questioned.

"I said, I. Don't. Want. To." he pronounced the words slowly and crossed his arms.

You're so annoying," I complained, and started walking down the hall with long strides. The infirmary wasn't far. My head felt heavy, but if I concentrated I could walk pretty straight by myself. Hikaru didn't seem to get the hint though, and soon followed me closely behind, huffing offended.

"You're pretty annoying yourself."

"Then, leave me alone."

"Don't want to!"

I groaned and flung my hands in the air. "You're a pain," I mumbled, and finally saw the door to the infirmary. "You can go back now, the infirmary is right there," I insisted, nodding toward the sickroom. Hikaru opened his mouth to protest, but then frowned and sighed.

"I'll come check on you later."

"You don't hav-"

"Yeah yeah yeah…" he waved me off and turned to leave. I stood silently for a second, watching him walk away and found myself… for some reason… almost feeling… _sad_. It was such a weird notion. Whenever he was close by, we would argue and be the total contradictions of each other, but as soon as he left me alone I felt like half of me was missing.

I shook it off. It was too asinine.

**oOo**

The nurse had checked my head, and said that it was only a minor wound. It had already stopped bleeding, and all it had really done was giving me a disgusting, sticky spot in the back of my head. I had washed the worst out and gotten a very unattractive white bandage in the back of my head.

"Done," the nurse declared as she put the bandage on, and rolled her chair across the floor to her computer and started typing something.

"Um, could I-"

"I would like you to lie down for _just _a moment," she said sweetly, and I frowned, but obeyed. I lay down on my side, and drowsiness immediately wrapped around me. My eyelids were as heavy as weights, but I couldn't sleep. Wouldn't. The nightmares would just reappear.

I gritted my teeth to keep awake, but soon I found my eyes closing, and I could do nothing to prevent it. My body relaxed and I was a moment away from slumber… when…

"Kaoru, are you in here?" a voice called out. My eyes flung open, as if from a wake-up call and I sat up. As I moved the tall blonde noticed my presence and lifted a hand in greeting, but he looked worried. "I heard you hit your head."

_How fast does gossip spread in this place? _I wondered. The nurse had gotten up and tried to make the princely boy leave, but I reassured her that I couldn't sleep anyway. Besides, Tamaki was a great way to keep me awake with his idiotic babbles.

"What happened?" he asked when he had taken a seat by my bed. I shrugged carelessly.

"I had another nightmare while sleeping in class, and fell out of my chair. No big deal," I explained. It sounded pretty comical when I retold it, but Tamaki didn't seem amused.

"Who helped you?"

"Hikaru…"

"Of course," Tamaki smiled, but then turned back to seriousness. "Have you told him everything yet?"

I looked down. "I wanted to do it, soon, but the mood has been bad."

"A shame, it could have been a seriously good birthday present," the blonde joked. The world stopped for a second.

My orbs flickered to the blonde. "It's - his birthday… today?" I whispered. It was as if someone had slowed down time for a moment. I had never celebrated my birthday; it had never been a day to celebrate for anyone. However, I did recall the date. But… it couldn't be true. I hadn't looked at a calendar for a while, so maybe it wasn't the date I thought it was. Yeah, that was it. Because no way our birthdays was… the same day.

"Yeah, it is, he didn't tell anyone," The blonde pouted. "You better tell us when your birthday is!"

"I feel dizzy again," I lied quietly.

Tamaki nodded in understanding. "I see," he then tilted his head. "What is that white thing in the back of your head anyway?" he questioned, and my hand lightly traced along the injury.

"Um, a bandage."

The blonde's eyes widened. "You said you it was 'no big deal'."

"It isn't," I shrugged.

"Let me see!" Tamaki demanded, leaning forward. I winced in shock, and angrily pressed my palms against the teen's chest to restrain him, but the blonde senior was stronger than he looked.

"What the hell are you doing!" I spat unhappily, but Tamaki just grabbed around my head.

"Let me see, you stupid child."

"I'm not your child!" Kaoru roared back. "Let go of my face."

"Please, let me see," Tamaki argued.

"N-no!"

"Kaoru, stop struggling."

"Let go!"

"What the hell are you guys doing?" a sudden voice broke through. We both stiffened in our position and turned our heads slowly. A baffled teen stood in the door, his hand rested on the doorknob and his expression twisted in a dismayed frown.

"Hikaru," I blurted out. At first his expression confused me, but then I lifted my eyes and abruptly realized how suggesting Tamaki was leaning toward me. His hand resting on the side of my head, with his body bent down toward my body, and my hands lying on his chest. I flushed red.

"Get off me, you idiot!" I almost shouted, and Tamaki obeyed this time, taking a step back slowly. He seemed to have realized the situation at the same time as me, and his eyes looked almost petrified. Hikaru stood completely quiet for a lingering second. Then he narrowed his eyes.

"I see," he said, except that he didn't _say_ it, he growled it.

"Hikaru, It's really not-"

"It's not what it looks li-" me and Tamaki talked at the same time, but Hikaru cut us both off as he took three long strides in our direction, his fists clenched by his sides and his eyes lighting on fire.

"Shut _up_," he growled.

And that's when Hikaru Hitachiin lost it and punched his best friend.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, I'll answer all your reviews in PM's this one time, because I need to upload. :D From now on there will be a new chappy every sunday or monday. ^_^ Thank you for all your lovely responses. :D<strong>


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